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The Informed Citizen
Saturday, April 16, 2005
 
WHOLPHIN WOES FOR BILL ??

"Who's Your Daddy ?",Rush Limbaugh Asks

The birth-a few months ago-of a calf to Kekaimalu : a hybrid of False Killer Whale and Bottlenose Dolphin (dubbed a "Wholphin") has raised unexpected questions.

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is now wondering who the "daddy" was.

According to the folks at Sea Life Park in Honolulu, the Wolphin-herself the product of a "surprise mating" between a False Killer Whale and a Bottlenose Dolphin-MAY have been impregnated by Mikioi,an 8' Atlantic Dolphin (who,so far,steadfastly denies paternity);but the redoubtable Limbaugh says: "Not so fast !"

The commentator noted Ex-Prez Bill Clinton's pronounced propensity for what the Avon catalog calls "Full-Figured Women",and hinted Clinton's heart attack might have been brought on by a "too strenuous workout at Sea Life Park...if you get my drift."

Sensing a scandal,the Media began asking Clinton for an interview,and last night, a visibly shaken,lower lip chewing former Chief Executive gave his angry response.

"I did not have sex with that Wolphin !",Bill exclaimed."Kekaimalu,or whatever the heck her name is."

An equally angry Hillary Clinton told an eager audience ,at a N.O.W. fundraiser, the whole thing was "part of a vast right-wing conspiracy"; adding, a few moments later: " That bastard's going to be sleeping on the couch again !"
 
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