The Morning Paper – July 7,2005
The Beautiful People are absolutely DEVASTATED !!
It appears those bounders at the Olympic Committee have voted against making New York City the site of the 2012 Olympics.
Binkey and Muffy had SO counted on Celebrity Box Seats.
Howard had counted on the commissions he would have earned setting up the financing. (Priscilla had counted on the extra alimony she would have been able to gouge out of Howard.)
This is just…..TRAGIC !!
Mayor Bloomberg- a whiny little man who could buy and sell most of the Beautiful People-had counted on BECOMING a Beautiful Person. (Hah!)
He had also counted on getting a lion’s share of the Labor Vote,and some support from the assorted minority pressure groups,because the Olympics would have created temporary-but-visible jobs.
Hillary Clinton was disappointed too. She had,after all,lent her considerable power and prestige to the Olympic bid, had accepted the
Adoration of the Media ,and had offered to talk to like-minded people on the Olympic Committee….but they weren’t having any.
(The coarse-minded might suggest the Committee tossed Hillary a quarter and suggested she call up all her friends; but if so,I would never be so rude as to repeat it.)
Some of the “Un-Beautiful” People were saddened by events.
Tommy (Little Monster) Bentnose was disappointed because he had hoped to dip his beak here and there as the lucrative contracts were dished out.
He was so chagrined at the bad news,he tossed a delinquent debtor into the olive press
His boss on the Council was so distraught over the ruin of a perfectly good olive press,he had Tommy and his car tossed off a bridge into the Raritan River. ( I think they call that a “Chappaquiddick Cruise”.)
The Media were the most disappointed : They would have to send their reporters to Britain to cover the Olympics, and that would cut into the profits .
There were some uncouth people who danced for joy at the “bad news.” .
I’m not sure,but I’ve heard rumors the TAXPAYERS were delighted at not being saddled with monstrous millions of additional debt – like the citizens of every city the Olympics has ever graced with its presence.
THE WORKING PUBLIC ,which has enough trouble getting to and from work now,was happy to learn there would be no utter collapse of transportation for this “worthy cause”.
THE REST OF US were kind of pleased as well. New Yorkers are hard-to-love in the best of times. Hosting the Olympics would have made them downright insufferable !